Let’s not sugarcoat it—these times are heavy. If you’ve turned on the news, scrolled social media, or even just listened to your friends talk lately, you’ve probably felt it too: that slow-burn anxiety, that gnawing fear, that helplessness that bubbles up when we see people’s rights being debated like they’re bargaining chips at a poker table.
As a therapist—and as a human—I see the toll this climate is taking. LGBTQIA+ folks, BIPOC communities, immigrants, people with disabilities, and so many others are living in a state of constant “what now?” It’s exhausting. It’s traumatizing. And for allies who care deeply, it can be hard to know what to do besides posting a hashtag or sharing a donation link (though yes, those things matter too).
So, if you’re wondering how to actually be an ally when it feels like the world is on fire, here’s my honest, therapist-approved, no-BS guide:
- Listen First, Defend Second
I get it—your instinct might be to jump into action, to fight, to fix. But before you do that, listen. Create space for people to share their pain without rushing in with solutions or rebuttals. Being a safe container for someone else’s grief, fear, or anger is a radical act of love. - Validate Without Hijacking
It’s tempting to say, “I can’t believe this is happening! I feel so upset!”—and you probably are upset. But remember: centering your own emotions can unintentionally pull focus. Instead, say things like, “I believe you. I’m with you. This is not okay.” - Check Your Energy Source
Allyship isn’t a sprint—it’s more like a CrossFit marathon with surprise fire drills. If you burn out because you’re operating from guilt or panic, you won’t last long. Root your advocacy in love, community, and a deep commitment to justice—not just fear. - Use Your Voice in the Rooms Where It Counts
Are you the one in the family group chat who might be able to get through to that uncle who still says “both sides”? Use that influence. Are you in a workplace that hasn’t updated their Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion policies since the Stone Age? Speak up. Allyship often means being brave in places where others have to stay silent for their safety. - Know the Difference Between Performative and Persistent
Posting a rainbow flag in June is easy. Calling your elected officials, donating monthly to local orgs, or showing up to community events when it’s not trendy—that’s persistent allyship. Be the one who sticks around even when the hashtags fade. - Therapy Helps, Too
Allyship is emotional work. You’ll wrestle with privilege, grief, shame, fear, and probably some spicy generational trauma along the way. Therapy can help you unpack those layers so you can show up grounded and clear-headed—not reactive or guilt-driven. - Stay Hopeful, Not Naive
Yes, things are hard. Yes, rights are at risk. But movements are rising. Communities are mobilizing. History is full of people who dared to believe in justice even when it seemed impossible. Let that be you, too.
Final Thoughts:
If you’re wondering if it matters—if you matter—here’s your answer: Yes. Your voice, your vote, your visibility, your support all matter. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially then.
We don’t get to choose the times we live in. But we do get to choose how we show up in them.
And if you ever need to talk it through—I’m here.
In solidarity,
A Therapist Who Believes in Justice