“Hold me, mommy! Just one more hug!”
I love it when my oldest comes running back to get one more hug before he runs off to play with his friends. It’s a moment of connection before we go our separate ways, and it also shows he feels comfortable enough to ask for affection when he needs it.
I find that as adults, even though we need and crave that physical affection, we often shy away from asking directly for it. We focus on sex or all the foreplay leading up to sex while bypassing the enjoyment and benefit of non-sexual physical touch. Research has shown the strength and usefulness of human touch for a person’s physical and mental state. Touch helps someone regulate their nervous system, withstand higher pain levels, and feel emotionally connected, as well as many other things, especially within a partnered relationship.
This type of touch also CAN help partners sexually connect by bringing attention away from intercourse and orgasm and instead to the enjoyment and pleasure from any touch, rather than just a means to an end.
Ready to shake things up a bit? Your assignment is to implement these simple tools to bring closeness back to your relationship.
Hold Hands
Holding hands is for more than just when you are walking in public, too, although that’s a great place to start! Hold hands while driving, watching a movie, and a quick squeeze as you walk by. All these ways are essential moments to enjoy this simple physical contact that helps you be physically connected to another person.
Playing with Hair
A severely forgotten form of connection, the nerve endings on the scalp can provide both parties with a delightful and connecting experience. This is not just for long-haired partners. Anybody can enjoy being on the receiving end of this treatment!
Rubbing Back/Massage
Assigning clients to give each other a non-sexual massage is one of my favorite things! It provides a way to receive touch and bring awareness to each body part and the different sensations experienced.
Cuddle (Clothing Optional)
After the early stages of a relationship, cuddling falls away in many relationships. The physical act of holding each other can provide all the benefits previously mentioned sentimentally and soothingly. The clothing-optional version allows for the most significant amount of skin contact, increasing the sensation and experience.
Try out some or all of these things! Remember to breathe into the experience and mentally go through a relaxation exercise for your mind and body to slow down into the moment. Your body needs touch, too!
Don’t hesitate to contact us today if you’d like to learn more valuable ways to increase connectedness with your partner.