As a therapist, I’ve learned something that still surprises people: talking openly about suicide doesn’t make someone more likely to attempt it. In fact, research shows the opposite — asking directly can lower distress and increase the chance a person seeks help. Depression and suicide do not discriminate and having the courage to discuss it, especially when you notice someone you care about is struggling, is the best prevention strategy.
September is Suicide Awareness Month, but the stigmatization of such a crutial topic makes it all the more necessary to call it what it is – and discuss it frequently, loudly, and OFTEN.That’s why it matters not just that we talk about suicide, but how we talk about it — with honesty, compassion, and hope.
Why talking matters
- Suicide is a public health issue, not a character flaw. According to the CDC, suicide is among the leading causes of death in the U.S., and it’s preventable.
- Asking is safe. Evidence shows that direct inquiry does not increase suicidal thoughts — it can be protective. “Our findings suggest acknowledging and talking about suicide may in fact reduce, rather than increase suicidal ideation.”
- Stigma keeps people quiet. Survivors consistently describe shame and avoidance as barriers to reaching out: “Participants experienced public stigma, self-stigma, and label avoidance.”
When we create space for conversation, we chip away at stigma and open the door to connection.
How to start the conversation
If you notice a loved one pulling away, expressing hopelessness, or showing changes in mood, sleep, or substance use, here are some ways to gently open the door:
- Use direct, compassionate language:
- “I’ve noticed you seem really down lately. Are you thinking about suicide?”
- “Sometimes when people feel as overwhelmed as you’ve described, they think about ending their life. Is that something you’ve been thinking about?”
- Show presence, not panic:
- “Thank you for telling me. I’m here with you.”
- “You don’t have to go through this alone. Can I help you find someone to talk to?”
- Avoid minimizing: Steer clear of phrases like “you’ll get over it” or “others have it worse.” They shut down trust. Instead, reflect what you hear:
- “That sounds incredibly heavy. I can see why you’d feel exhausted.”
Bottom line: Suicide Prevention Month isn’t about one month on the calendar — it’s a reminder to practice brave conversations every day. Asking the question might feel uncomfortable, but silence is riskier. Your presence, your words, and your willingness to listen could save a life.
If you or someone you know could use some support, we are here and ready to help get you started. Contact us today to schedule a free consultation. We believe you deserve to be heard!